Affirmations Are Bunk

Affirmations Are Bunk!

If you're trying to feed your brain positive thoughts and affirmations, things like:

"Money is abundant." "I am loved by all." "Success is on its way!"

and your brain does not believe them, they aren't going to get you ANYWHERE.

Here's why.

If you say an affirmation, and part of your brain is up there scoffing, like "pfff, yeah, right..." then you're just saying words. You're certainly not convincing your brain of anything.

When you're in the shit (and believe me, we all go there sometimes), and your brain is spitting out nasty icky thoughts like:

"I'll never make it." "I'll always feel like this." "This is all I deserve."

it can be WAY too big of a leap for it to go to:

"Success is near!" "I can feel better now!" and "I deserve everything good!"

That's just too big of a leap.

Your brain is going to have a really hard time believing any of that.

In fact, it will immediately come up with evidence and contradictions for your affirmations. It wants to stay where it is.

So, how do we get out of the hole?

This is work I've been doing for myself and my clients when it comes to mental health, anxiety, depression, business, and love.

We have to create a bridge or a ladder for our brain to walk out of the hole of negative thoughts.

We have to create small changes to the negative thoughts that are 100% believable.

If you've ever been "in the shit" as I call it, you'd give anything just to feel neutral, am I right?

To just "turn off" the anxiety, the panic, the self loathing. Just turn it off and get relief from the awful feelings.

Getting to neutral by way of a thought ladder is an excellent tool, and everyone deserves to know about it.

You start with your current thought, the one you want to change because it's causing you some unpleasant feelings, and you make small changes to it that your brain believes 100% to be true, slowly walking yourself up the ladder to a neutral thought.

Let me give you an example.

I did this one with my client last week.

The circumstance was she spoke her mind to someone she knows, and that person became upset. (raise your hand if that's ever happened to you)

Original Thought: "I offend people."

This thought caused her to feel pretty bad.

Nauseous, uncomfortable, shame, anxious.

Those feelings led her to avoid this person and avoid speaking her mind. As a result, she wasn't being true to herself, she was worrying a lot, and this was getting in the way of her being able to relax around others.

Now, it would have been a BIG stretch to go from "I offend people" to "I am the lighthouse for all mankind." Or, more realistically, "I love myself."

So we began a thought ladder to get her to neutral.

"I offend people." "I think I offend people." "I think." "I feel." "I am a person." "She is a person." "She is a person who thinks and who feels." "She had a response to what I said." "She's allowed to have her own response." "It is what it is."

What's really important here is not the number of thoughts on the ladder or even what they say, it's how strongly she believed each thought.

She believed each of the above thoughts at a 10/10. Her brain could get behind each of them.

When we got to the final thought, "It is what it is," it created the feeling of neutral. She wasn't feeling anxious or upset. She wasn't feeling happy or excited. She was feeling neutral. And that was good for now.

I'll go one further with a business example.

One I've had many times and my client had last week as well. Our brains are insidious! Well, they are not always original. This thought comes back around for me from time to time. And that's OK. I'm prepared!

Circumstance: it's been 2 weeks since I signed a client

Original Thought: It's all going to fall apart. (thanks brain lol!)

Thought Ladder

"It's all going to fall apart." "It might fall apart." "It hasn't fallen apart yet." "I signed a client 2 weeks ago." "Nothing has gone wrong."

That last thought produces the feeling of neutral.

We then took it into the positive realm because our brains were open to that.

"I could sign a client tomorrow." "I am resourceful." "I know I'm on the right track."

These brought feelings of optimism, excitement, and confidence which allow us to take productive actions in our business.

This is a long post! But I think it's chock full of value. I wanted to give you a tool you can pick up and use today.

If you'd like help creating a personal thought ladder for yourself or applying this tool on your own thoughts, feel free to reach out and we can set aside some time to do just that.

We're not always the best at getting ourselves out of the hole.

Sometimes, having someone who is impartial and not currently feeling your feelings can be hugely helpful to creating better thoughts.

Be sure to check your belief for each thought! If you don't believe it 100%, try another thought.

You can also sit with each thought on the ladder for as long as you need to for your feeling to change. That's why it's a ladder. You don't have to bounce to the end.

I'm in your corner, friends! If you found this helpful, let me know.


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