Coaching Moments: Growing Up Emotionally Suppressed
Updated: Jun 11, 2020
My client is really good at putting on a front. She does a very convincing job of showing the world that she is great. That she's got it all put together. That she's happy.
She's done a good job of following society's rules and guidelines - How To Be Successful 1.0. She's got a respectable corporate job. She owns her own home, and has from her twenties. She's involved in her church, her community, and in hobbies with her dog. Outwardly, she's living a great life.
Inwardly, not so much.
Know someone like that?
Maybe she looks at you from the mirror from time to time.
This client of mine, whom I have known for about two years and who began coaching with me a month ago, knew she was missing out on something. And she was "shoulding" all over herself. "I should be happy. All indicators point towards there being nothing for me to complain about."
But something BIG was missing, and she didn't realize how big it was until she truly gave herself over to the coaching experience.
When we started working together, she focused on semi-superficial goals. The most important to her being weight loss and finding a husband. That's how she phrased her goals.
Knowing that this is a process and that you have to be ready for it, I didn't press her too hard on these to begin with. I wanted her to see it for herself.
I had to teach her how to look inward. This was not a life skill she had ever cultivated, and I later learned that she grew up in a very controlling household with strict rules and behavioral expectations. It made sense then why she was struggling to even hear what her innermost self was trying to communicate.
After a few coaching sessions and much guided meditation, she began to really listen. And it was a tiny, yet profound awakening. She had always listened outward. Taken her cues from other people, her environment, and from society.
Being able to hear herself for the first time since she was very young was (and yes, you'd better believe I know how corny this sounds, but if the imagery is spot on, then I have to use it!) like a flower blossoming. Delicate, beautiful, and powerful.
Once that transformation had taken place, I could guide her deeper. The goals changed, shifted, gained substance.
"Weight Loss" became contentment, acceptance, feeling powerful, nurturing herself, and living healthier. Weight loss became the eventual, expected outcome of the deeper shift from within. If you feel powerful, if you treat yourself with compassion, if you are driven to be healthy, then you will. And weight loss will just happen. It's now coming from a place of growth and spirit, not from discontent and suffering.
"Finding a Husband" became loving herself, embracing her curiosity and sense of fun and playful spirit, and tapping into adventure to go explore into the world. Gone was the despair, social expectation, and familial pressure. Now it was a goal she wanted to pursue for herself. I can't wait to see what amazing men come into her life with this newfound energy!
Working with a life coach can be profound, no doubt. We're trained to help you see what you cannot see by yourself. We're empowered to help you dig deeper and to reach higher than you ever have before.
When trust is in place, anything is possible.
If you've felt like you're stuck, like you can't even see the full picture; if you've had to grow up by suppressing your feelings and emotions and being who you're expected to be, you are not alone. And it is not a bad thing. It has gotten you to where you are. It has given you strength.
But you can choose when it's no longer serving you. And you can choose to change. To experience life FULLY and on your terms.
I'd love to help you to experience that power and feeling ALIVE.
Reach out. Be bold. Just start.
Sending light, love, and support your way. No matter where you are on your journey.