Updated: Jun 11, 2020
I recently sat down with someone in a coaching session for the first time.
I've known her for about two years, through dog training. She has been driving over an hour each way to attend my unique classes because it was important to her.
I could sense that she was struggling lately, and I reached out to offer her a coaching session. To offer support. To be there for her. And to hopefully help her release some of the suffering she's been experiencing.
It was interesting because I'd never had a conversation like that with her before.
The deep, hold nothing back, challenge and nudge type of conversation. The get to the real stuff kind of conversation. I have never been one for small talk anyway. Talking about the truth is really the only way to move forward.
I learned some interesting things about her.
I learned that she had to grow up fast. That her parents didn't really support her or her siblings. She had to become the adult, the role model, for her younger siblings. She took it on ably. Taking care of others has always been natural for her.
Maybe that's why she has a career in personal healthcare.
Lately, she's been isolating herself. Physically, emotionally, all of it. Subtly. But it's beginning to take a toll.
She's learned from a young age that allowing herself to experience things like joy and happiness and real connection only leads to pain, so she shut herself off from feeling too deeply a long time ago.
Near the end of our conversation, after some tears and truth, after realizations and insights, my intuition led me to deliver a knockout punch. I said to this wonderful, vulnerable woman: "You're living a half life."
Silence reigned for a full minute.
I watched her absorb that awful, profound "cherry" on top of our deep conversation.
Then, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and simply said, "Yes."
I have two take-aways here. One, to be an effective coach, we have to say what no one else would say. We have to say the hard things, the true things. The specific words that will trigger a person. Because only then will great change occur. Only with great truth, realization, and acceptance. It's not easy to do, and sometimes it's not easy to receive.
But it is powerful.
Two, that by only experiencing life superficially, by not allowing herself to feel fully and deeply, she was indeed living a half life. She was only experiencing a small fraction of what her life and the world had to offer. She is capable of so much more, and she deserves SO. MUCH. MORE.
We are going to explore that together.
We are going to identify how this happened and release it.
We are going to dare greatly and experience life at full intensity.
And through it, I know that she will shine.
I cannot wait to see her put on her brave and face the world. I cannot wait to see her feel all the feels and experience all that this world has to offer. I cannot wait to see what amazing potential comes out of her when she's open to everything.
Looking deeper can be scary as hell. We hide things from ourselves on purpose. Because we believe they will cause us pain. But if a guide, a coach, can help you to be brave enough to face those things, you may discover they are not as scary as you once thought. That you can gain mastery over them and actually use them as a strength.
I'd be honored to help you on that journey.
If a deep coaching experience would be helpful to you, reach out.
You never know what might be possible!
Sending light, love, and support your way.