Updated: Jun 11, 2020
When you're stuck in your own head, waffling, wavering, despairing, it can seem like you'll be stuck there forever.
I know. I still go there myself.
There's no magic wand, but here are three things that can help you get yourself UNSTUCK.
(note: you will have to actually MAKE yourself do these. I can't generate willpower for you. If you want to not feel like this anymore, you're going to have to dig deep and just do it.)
When it's time to get your shit together, try this:
1. BRAIN DUMP
Grab a notebook. Yes, paper and pen. No, not your laptop. Go somewhere quiet. And write for at least 5 straight minutes. Free form, no rules. Download all the crappy thoughts that have been swirling around your brain and get them on paper. Write anything and everything that comes to mind. No structure, no stopping.
Get it all out.
Then, sit quietly for 2 minutes. Not reading what you wrote. Just letting anything else come up, or letting the dust settle. Be with yourself for two minutes.
THEN, read what you wrote. Once, twice, as many times as you need.
Putting pen to paper helps us distance ourselves from the larger-than-life thoughts that bode doom and gloom in our brains. We need that distance to have perspective that will actually help us move forward. It should be less scary reading it on paper than it was in your head.
Bonus: circle any themes or recurring thoughts. Look for patterns. Then do #2 in this list.
2. ASK BETTER QUESTIONS
You might have thought that #2 was going to be "choose better thoughts" or "choose replacement thoughts." That works, sometimes. But it's like covering up the thoughts you don't want. They are still there, underneath.
This was a game changer for me when I learned it from Brooke Castillo.
Our brains are constantly trying to solve problems. They are pretty awesome at it, too.
If we give our brains these questions -
"why do I feel like this?"
"why can't I figure this out?"
"why is this so hard?"
- it will swirl around trying to find answers. The answers it will find won't be great, though.
INSTEAD, try asking your brain different questions.
INSTANTLY, you'll feel a tiny shift. Grab onto it, trust it, don't try to tamp it down.
Questions like this:
"what if this was easy?"
"what if I have everything I need to make a decision?"
"how can today be amazing?"
"what could I do right now to feel better?"
"what am I grateful for?"
Bonus: WRITE THESE QUESTIONS DOWN! Then let your brain mull on them a bit. Then go to #3.
3. TAKE ACTION ANYWAYS
So you feel like shit. So you don't feel like it. So all you want to do is stay miserable and be a blob.
Make yourself take ONE, TINY STEP.
Use #2 to ask your brain "what is one tiny thing I could do to get my shit together right now?"
Then write down a BUNCH of tiny steps. Pick one, or two.
And take action anyway. What you need right now is momentum. Well, an upset to your thinking and then momentum.
Get yourself moving, physically if possible, and it will begin to unlock your brain. Use the questions in #2 to let positivity take root, then start taking action.
This is where you gotta say, 'it doesn't matter how I feel right now. I'm going to do x, y, z because I have to.'
MAKE yourself take action, no matter how you feel.
Once the momentum gets rolling, it's going to begin building a positive emotional snowball (see my Tidbits video on this subject for more detail). You'll feel better and better.
Bonus: use this step to take action and reach out to me for a coaching session. We'll throw some lighter fluid on that flame inside of you and get you fired up for big change!
It's not easy, my friends! But you got this. You are stronger than you know.
You have everything that you need.
You are infinitely capable.
You've been through harder shit than this.
You can do this.
SO GET GOING!
Get your shit together.
Because this world is amazing, and we only get one life to live. You deserve to make the most of it. You deserve to feel happy.
You can choose how to feel.
Let me know how it goes for you. And if you need help, you know I'm here for you. Just ask.
Be well lovelies,
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