When Making Mistakes Causes Anguish

Remember the last time you f*cked up?

How it took you to your knees. Stole the breath from your lungs. Sent you straight into panic.

Remember how you simultaneously wanted to hide in a dark cave and also scramble to try to fix it?

Maybe it was over in a flash and you reluctantly moved on.

Or maybe it lingered for days and days, haunting you if you let your thoughts slow down.

Making a mistake can be incredibly painful, but there are two levels to this.

There's the immediate fallout - the stuff you can't control. And then there's your response to realizing you made a mistake.

If you're like most of my clients, your response and judgement is way more painful than the actual mistake itself.

The good news is that's the part we have some influence over.

The bad news is that it can be a challenging skill to learn.

The solution is not to CARE LESS.

But it's the first thing you try, every time.

You think that if you can find a way to turn the tap off, you'll experience less anguish.

But caring less, becoming more callous, developing a "thicker skin" does not improve the quality of your life.

It may bandaid the next mistake and your level of mental swirling, but it closes you off from all the other amazing positive emotions and life experiences you don't want to miss.

No, the solution is not to care less.

The solution is this:

1. Allow your emotions

Let go of resistance and avoidance and simply allow the feelings to be there. Nurture yourself through the wave.

2. Notice your thoughts

See what your inner monologue is doing and observe it with curiosity rather than judgement.

What are you making this mistake mean?

3. Understand your programming

Our upbringing, culture, and societal conditioning play a bit part in our responses to things. Recognize how much that's factoring into your reaction.

4. Choose your reality

Decide, on purpose, what you want to believe about the situation.

What would your friend or brother think about it?

This is exactly what we work on together in my 6 month personal life coaching program. Dive deeper into each of these 4 steps and master the tools - yours for the rest of your life. Click Here to set up your free call.

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