Updated: Jun 11, 2020
This is an open letter to you, the woman sitting in the corporate office, the woman making a successful career for herself, the woman doing what she should do, the woman trying to keep it together, the woman crumbling on the inside, the woman who can't identify what's wrong, the woman viscerally dreading going into work, the woman being eaten away by anxiety and stress, the woman who spends all her time recovering from work, the woman who doesn't do anything fun anymore, the woman who can't see a way out.
I hope and I believe that this message will reach you, no matter where you are.
When I was you, I didn't know I wasn't alone.
I don't mean that in the sense that there are others out there having the same experience. I mean RIGHT NOW, in this moment, you think you are completely alone. That you have to figure this all out on your own, and it seems completely impossible.
Alone in that you think all the strength has to come from you. Alone in that you feel you can't tell anyone about what you're going through. Alone in that you think your feelings are wrong. That you can't cut it. That you're failing.
Alone in your experience. Alone in your apartment. Alone in your feelings. Alone in your despair. Alone in your isolation.
I trust and I believe that this message will reach you, no matter where you are.
you are not alone
You. Are Not. Alone.
Girl, you are not alone. You are NOT alone.
You don't have to do this all by yourself. You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to figure this out all on your own. You don't have to struggle anymore. You don't have to feel like this. Any. More.
Please know you are loved. You are held. You will recover. You will feel better. You will be happy again.
You CAN change your situation. I know it seems impossible right now, and I feel you.
When I say you CAN change your situation, it's not a call to action. It's just saying you can. You are capable. Not you should, not get up and get moving, not why haven't you yet. Just that you can. You can.
It can get better. You don't have to know how yet. You just have to believe that it can get better.
No matter where you are right now, metaphorically, geographically, on your journey, know that you are not alone.
It could feel like no one will understand. They won't. That's OK.
Reach out anyway. Share what you can.
Maybe it's just saying, "I'm going through a really hard time, and I could just use a hug."
"I just need you to be there right now."
Set your boundaries. Tell them you don't need help problem solving (because trust me, no amount of brainstorming is going to get you out of this). Tell them you just need their presence. Their love. Their friendship. A hug. A phone call.
It's OK to feel scared to do this. And this time I will give you a small nudge: do it anyway.
Write a text. Call a loved one.
You can also always send me an email. No matter where you are, what you're feeling, I'm here.
You. Are Not. Alone.
I believe in you.
And I'm sending you love.
If things seem really bad, really really bad. If you're sitting in the pit of despair and can't see a way out. If you're thinking about ending it. Please call the suicide prevention hotline. All they do is listen. It is safe. It can be the lifeline you need right now. Call 1-800-273-8255.